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You failed high school chemistry but you could teach a course on lactic acid
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While at the gym, you change clothes as fast as possible because it feels like a transition
- You wear your heart rate monitor during sex.
- You bring bottled water to a party so that you’re properly hydrated for the next morning’s long run
- Everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don’t have a social life outside of triathlon.
- Everyone showed up by 7pm and left by 10pm
- When you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fast transition from work to swim on your lunch hour
- Your girlfriends are insanely jealous of your tan legs. Until they realize that the tan stops at your bike shorts.
- One of the criteria of a vacation is that the hotel has a spin bike, pool and there’s running trails nearby
- Baggage for any out of town trip includes running gear and goggles
- 90 degrees is too hot to mow the lawn but not to go on a century ride
- You consider Clif Bars one of the four food groups
- You wake up at 5 am but don’t get to work until 9.
- You think there are only two seasons during the year, triathlon & marathon.
- The inside of your car looks like a going out of business sale at Sports Authority.
- You consider work, recovery time between training sessions.
- You have a water bottle when you drive your car.
- You spend your 2 week annual vacation at a training camp.
- You know exactly how much protein each energy bar has.
- Your legs are smoother than your girlfriend’s.
- You use race shirts to clean your bike.
- You know you’re a triathlete when you take more showers at the gym than at home.
- 6:30 am is sleeping in.
- You have everything needed in your car to swim, bike or run within 5 minutes notice.
- The one “suit” you own has Xterra written on the chest.
- You catch yourself about to blow a snot rocket while walking around the office.
- You know you’re a triathlete when you take ice baths!
- You can plow through a whopping plate of pancakes and sausage and go back for seconds with a clear conscience.
- You don’t mind your spinach in liquid form.
- Your cologne of choice is chlorine.
- You consider ‘bonking’ a bad thing.
- You know you’re a triathlete when your house and office is littered with half full water bottles
- Your bike costs more than your car.
- You shout “on your left” when passing people in the aisles at the grocery store.
- You use the words “only” and “10k” in the same sentence.
- IM no longer refers to ‘instant message’.
- You use the words “easy” and “long run” in the same sentence.
- You not only eat gels, but you know the best flavors for every brand.
- Your bath towel is never dry.
- Your wife no longer thinks it’s strange that you keep a heart rate monitor at your bedside.
- You take (at least) two showers a day.
- You think the ultimate form of wallpaper is all your racing bibs.
- You have a vanity license plate with the word “Kona” in it.
- After you meet someone and they tell you they race, you go home and check online to see what age group they’re in and what their times are.
- You plan vacations around where your next race will be.
- You feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.
- You show up to work on Mondays with faded race numbers written all over your arms and legs.
- About half the shirts you own have at least a dozen logos on the back of them.
- There is a group of people in your life about whom you are more likely to know how fast they can swim 100 meters than their occupations.
- There’s a separate load of laundry every week that is just your workout clothes.
- You don’t giggle anymore when someone uses the word ‘Fartlek’.
- Your bike is in your living room (possibly mounted on your trainer).
- A car follows too closely behind you and you accuse them of drafting.
- Your friends cried during The Notebook; you cried during the television coverage of the Ironman World Championship.
- Your husband/wife is looking forward to the day when you will slow down and just run marathons.
- You see no problem with talking about treatments for chafing or saddle rash at the dinner table.
- You know you’re a triathlete when nobody believes you when you say “I’ll never do an Ironman”.
- You have peed outdoors more times in the last year than you did in your first year of college.
- You call a 5 mile run an easy day.
- You shave way too many body parts.
- You spend more money on training clothes then work clothes.
- You clean your bike more often than your car.
- Your car smells like a locker room.
- You have far more pairs of shoes in your closet than your non-tri wife does in hers.
- You go for a 5K cooldown run after a 5K race just so that you can call it a training session.
- You have to explain to your co-workers what “splits,” “bricks,” and ‘LSDs” are.
- You know you’re a triathlete when people see your ’140.6′ sticker on your vehicle and ask what radio station that is.
- You’ve forgotten how to drink out of cups.
- When asked how old you are you answer your age group (40-44).
- When people praise you for being able to run 15 miles you feel insulted.
- You purchase your new car to match the color of your bike.
- You know you’re a triathlete when your car purchase depends on whether your bike will fit in the back.
- You consider sprint triathlons as group training sessions.
- You reach for a snack, and its a Clif Bar.
- You would rather surf race pictures than watch TV